Transcript of the Message delivered during the Send-off for the 2018 Bar Examinees of the University of the Philippines College of Law
Good afternoon.
I am not personally familiar with the concept of a “send-off” because we did not have one during my time. And I am not sure why I was invited to speak to you since I did not teach all of you.
The invitation, which I am sure is pro forma and handed down from previous years, said it was because I was "deeply respected and well loved." That is fake news because I know that more than anything else I am well feared.
Which brings me to what many of you may be feeling today - fear, or something analogous to it.
When I was your age I thought I was fearless. So when I was about to take the bar I was, at worse, nervous. After all, this was just another exam, and I had a history of doing well in exams. I even drove myself to MLQU, which was the test center then, parked the car, and walked down the gauntlet created by well-wishers on either side of the street. I am one of those horrible people who always finish exams early, so I left, walked the gauntlet, drove myself home.
And when I got to my room I felt fear for the first time. The reason why I remember all of this 30 years later is because, as Dr. Blaisey Ford explained, trauma is locked in the hippocampus. And the bar exam was a traumatic experience for me - I was so afraid that I would be a disappointment to my parents; I did not know if I had less than 25 errors that would get me through; I was fearful that I wasted 4 years of my life.
The next day fear became anger because that is how I coped in those days - anger that a 4-Sunday exam was now going to define me. Then the next day, it was outrage at how stupid the exams were, how stupid the examiners were. And the next day when I realized I had 4 more days left to study for the next exam it was fear all over again. And that was the Ferris Wheel of horror I was on for those 4 Sundays, and for the 4 months of waiting.
I am not personally familiar with the concept of a “send-off” because we did not have one during my time. And I am not sure why I was invited to speak to you since I did not teach all of you.
The invitation, which I am sure is pro forma and handed down from previous years, said it was because I was "deeply respected and well loved." That is fake news because I know that more than anything else I am well feared.
Which brings me to what many of you may be feeling today - fear, or something analogous to it.
When I was your age I thought I was fearless. So when I was about to take the bar I was, at worse, nervous. After all, this was just another exam, and I had a history of doing well in exams. I even drove myself to MLQU, which was the test center then, parked the car, and walked down the gauntlet created by well-wishers on either side of the street. I am one of those horrible people who always finish exams early, so I left, walked the gauntlet, drove myself home.
And when I got to my room I felt fear for the first time. The reason why I remember all of this 30 years later is because, as Dr. Blaisey Ford explained, trauma is locked in the hippocampus. And the bar exam was a traumatic experience for me - I was so afraid that I would be a disappointment to my parents; I did not know if I had less than 25 errors that would get me through; I was fearful that I wasted 4 years of my life.
The next day fear became anger because that is how I coped in those days - anger that a 4-Sunday exam was now going to define me. Then the next day, it was outrage at how stupid the exams were, how stupid the examiners were. And the next day when I realized I had 4 more days left to study for the next exam it was fear all over again. And that was the Ferris Wheel of horror I was on for those 4 Sundays, and for the 4 months of waiting.
It turns out that I did pass. And the day that I found out is also locked in my hippocampus because it was one of the happiest days of my life. I remember where I was, what I was wearing, who called me, what he said, what I did after.
I tell you this because I want you to know that whatever you are going through now, whatever you are feeling, this is your new normal, and that it is all right. You simply accept it and then power through it.
I can no longer speak to you about your 4 years in the college. I cannot speak to you about the 4 months of bar review. That is all done. But I can speak to you about a few things that are under your control still.
Remember that the bar exam booklet is a presentation. And like any presentation you can control what it will look like. If it looks like a hot mess, the examiner will already think in those terms. Handwriting is important. It need not be beautiful, only clear and clean. If you need to erase something do so crisply and simply.
Use short sentences. The period is your friend. Avoid semi-colons and "howevers."
And most importantly- the bar exam asks questions and demands answers. Right off the bat - answer the question, and then explain your answer citing your legal basis, either the law or jurisprudence. Do not fret if you don’t remember the article or section number. Just cite the short title of the law, and if you forget even that, then just say "the law." Same thing with cases. If you cannot remember the G.R. No. or even the case title, then just say "the Supreme Court." The point is - focus on what you know.
And the truth is you know more now, in terms of breadth and scope of the law, than I do. You know more than your professors do, more than partners and judges. Isn’t that an empowering idea? Isn’t that a powerful thought to bring with you?
Which brings me to the source of your power. I am not a religious person, but during the bar I prayed as if I were in a foxhole. So if you are religious, pray very hard; if you are not, meditate. Every so often go to your center. Because you know that your core is so very strong.
With apologies to Sagan and Gaiman, two of my favorite authors, the science and magic of it is this - You are the stuff of which stars are made. And what do stars do? You shine.
You shine for the hopes and dreams not only of your parents and family but, because you are from the University of the Philippines, you shine for the hopes and dreams of the Filipino people. That is part of your core, part of your heart and soul. And you can choose to take that with you wherever life leads.
There are 4 more weeks, 4 more Sundays. That is nothing compared to the 4 years of law school, the 4 months of review. You've got this.
You are made of "star stuff." You will power through this. And you will be incandescent.
Thank you for listening to me today.
